Justice League Movie Review: CGI Mustache Removal Technology Is Not There Yet


November 27, 2017

Justice League is hitting theaters worldwide and is seemingly bombing, but does it mean you should skip the cinematic event (yes)? Unfortunately, this is a movie that attempted to course-correct absolutely everything and failed. The most fascinating thing about it is that it’s not even bad – the movie is surprisingly average and that’s worse that bad. Because if the movie’s bad, you can talk about it, you can laugh at it, you can watch it and recommend to people just for the sake of experiencing its failure. But if the movie is “meh”, it’s not gonna get a lot of views. Justice League is, arguably, one of the most iconic superhero teams and it’s simply mind-boggling that it’s not the most high-grossing movie of all time.

Let’s talk about the good stuff before we get into the flick’s problems. First off, Superman‘s CGI lip was barely noticeable. Just kidding, it was atrociously visible in every scene Henry Cavill was in! Quick recap: after finishing all of his Superman scenes in JL, he went on to do Mission Impossible 6 for which he had to grow a mustache. However, due to extensive reshoots, Henry Cavill had to head back on the set of JL. But due to MI contractual obligations, it was forbidden for him to shave off his mustache. So, after a long and pointless negotiations, WB had digitally remove Henry’s mustache. In result, the best cinematic representation of Superman had the weirdest, uncanny valley face! Given that you manage to look past Sup’s upper lip, this is indeed the best version of Superman we’ve seen on screen so far. For the first time in DCEU (or whatever), Superman smiles and looks happy. The problem with it, though, is that I don’t really see the reasoning behind this change of heart.

Batman. Ben Affleck reminded me of Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones 5, because the man looked like he didn’t want to be there and just unenthusiastic overall. Batman’s motivations to everything he does are also perverted in the weirdest of ways. While in BvS, Batfleck was willing to kill Superman with even a 1% chance of Sups going bad; this time around, he’s willing to revive Superman even if there’s the slightest of chances of doing so. Why? because reasons. Unfortunately, The Dark Knight did not have a stand-out scene like the Warehouse Scene in BvS. Most of the time, Batman is simply crashing one of his vehicles. 

Cyborg. Ray Fisher’s Cyborg was fun, but once again it didn’t have a lot to do in this movie. He was sorta crucial for the plot, but not really. It felt like the Vision in Avengers 2 – he didn’t have whole lotta screen time, so in order to remember him, Vision was the one to kill the bad guy.

Wonder Woman. Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman is  actually one of the best things about the movie and it would’ve been perfect if she wasn’t sexualized as much. I mean there are a few shots in the movie that felt like they’re filmed by Michael Bay, Petty Jenkings would never have chosen the timing and the angles that were used in Justice League, just saying. Her introduction scene was pretty cool, but it felt quite detached from the rest of the plot (and it’s a case with a lot of the scenes in the movie – they all look kinda cool but don’t really mash together).  

The Flash. Ezra Miller’s Flash was an annoying comic relief and an audience surrogate as he was the one to ask questions all the time and giggle. Also, that man doesn’t know how to run, Ezra’s Flash tripped and fell at least two times in the movie, and that’s two times too many. Also, the way he flails his hands during slo-mo is simply ridiculous.

Aquaman. Jason Momoa is the only person who looked like he was having fun on set. To this day, I can’t understand who would find it reasonable to place a superhero with water based powers on land and expect him do something impressive. Basically, by the third act, all Momoa’s Aquaman did, was impale a bunch of parademons with his non-trident as he was falling from the sky. On the plus side, Jason Momoa did get me excited for the Aquaman solo movie. 

Steppenwolf was the worst superhero villain ever, worse that Iron Man’s Mandarin or Thor’s Malekith combined. Fully CGI, with no motivation whatsoever. He appeared out of nowhere, yelled for a bit and got punched in the face by Superman, that is all. And Steppy’s CGI was really, really bland, like a video game cut scene or something. Visual effects overall were somewhat disappointing, for a movie that cost over $ 300 million, that is unacceptable. Obvious green screen is obvious. The whole movie felt super rushed and loads of stuff from the trailers was cut out.

What was the point of all of it? I don’t know. Justice League should have been the best movie ever made. In reality, it was JUST a movie. Cue the Garfunkel’s Sounds of Silence song.


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Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, uh, your opinion, man: