Blade Runner 2049 Review: Long, Boring and Awesome (?)

Date

October 13, 2017

Blade Runner 2049 is hitting theaters worldwide, but will you be able to sit through a movie which feels like it has 2049 minutes of running time? Should you run to the nearest cinema for this cinematic extravaganza or should you retire from watching this movie? But most importantly – is Deckard a replicant? (it doesn’t matter)

The original Blade Runner is directed by Ridley Scott, based on Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep novel by Phillip K. Dick and it is a movie that is universally considered to be a Sci-Fi masterpiece despite it being boring as hell. Original recipe Blade Runner bombed at the box office, yet managed to amass a following later on. Why is it boring? Because nothing really happens in a course of this 117 minutes film. It is a noir movie that tells a story of a detective Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford) pulled out of retirement for one last job of finding rogue replicants – artificial androids seemingly indistinguishable from human beings. The original movie explored an idea of what makes us humans and even implies that Deckard himself might be a replicant too. The movie ends with a cliffhanger and Deckard’s identity is free for interpretation (depending on the cut you’ve watched).

With a lot of questions unanswered, here we are having a sequel, 35 years later in Los Angeles of 2049. Replicants are still treated like shit and rogue models are being hunted. We are introduced to a new Blade Runner – officer K (Ryan Gosling), who is instantly revealed to be a newer and more compliant version of replicant. K stumbles upon a clue that suggests that replicants can give birth, which means that replicants aren’t simple robots anymore. Obviously, he is tasked of finding a replicant baby and killing it before the news goes public. During the investigation, K discovers that he is, in fact, that unique replicant baby, and his parents are Deckard and Rachel from the original movie. Not long before the movie was about to wrap up, the movie pulls a “Nolan from the Dark Knight Rises” gender twist on us, revealing that the replicant baby was a girl, and all K’s memories were implanted. Nonetheless, K decides to save Deckard from certain death and bring him to his daughter. Ta-da! And it lasts for almost 3 hours. Also there’s a threesome sex scene  including two replicants and a hologram.

In terms of performances, everyone did a stellar job! Ryan Gosling, gorgeous Ana de Armas and Silvia Hoeks pulled off their roles brilliantly! The only disappointment is that Dave Bautista and Jared Leto were completely underused. Both of them were phenomenal and they were barely in the movie. In fact, it would be much better if they included the 2 short movies about these characters in Blade Runner 2049. It wouldn’t have drastically affected the already bloated runtime of the movie and gave better context to both of these characters. You can watch the shorts here and here. Another aspect in which the movie stands out is its visuals – it is a pure pleasure to watch this masterfully crafted and beautifully filmed universe. 2049’s director of photography, Roger Deakins, should a get a bloody Oscar for it!

At the end of the day, the director Denis Villeneuve did a fantastic job expanding the Blade Runner universe, and Blade Runner 2049 is a movie you shouldn’t miss. Obviously, it gets a definitive score and we should ask the legendary Harrison Ford for it. Mr. Ford?

That’s great! Thank you, Mr. Ford!

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Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, uh, your opinion, man: